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My spouse was diagnosed with stage IV Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in July 2019.

A MyLymphomaTeam Member asked a question 💭
Tucumcari, NM

He refused chemotherapy and refuses to talk about his situation. He does nothing but sit and watch tv. Are there any suggestions about how to be supportive of his choices?

August 24, 2019
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Answer Summary

Members rallied around the original question about supporting a spouse who refuses treatment for stage IV Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, with many... Read more

Members rallied around the original question about supporting a spouse who refuses treatment for stage IV Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, with many sharing that modern chemotherapy is far more manageable than its reputation suggests, often allowing people to remain active, work, and experience minimal side effects beyond temporary fatigue or hair loss. Several members emphasized that stage IV does not mean end-stage but rather indicates the cancer has spread to multiple areas, and they shared powerful personal stories of achieving remission after treatment, including one member who was given weeks to live but has now been in remission for two years. A recurring theme was encouraging the spouse to educate himself through cancer centers, support groups, or survivor testimonies, with members expressing that denial is a natural grief response but that treatment offers real hope and the chance for many more good years.

A MyLymphomaTeam Member

Stage 4 means it has migrated to another area, not that it is an end stage. There is hope!

September 3, 2019
A MyLymphomaTeam Member

Maybe he thinks that Stage 4 is a fatal diagnosis. Not true. Mine is Stage 4 with quite a few exacerbating factors beyond that. I’m 70, but I’m hoping for quite a few good years yet at least. Much has changed in lymphoma treatment in the past ten years. There are quite a few options. Does he know about these developments?

August 25, 2019
A MyLymphomaTeam Member

Martha,doing nothing is a terrible choice your husband is making. I was diagnosed with stage 4 B cell Non Hodgkin's lymphoma in December '18. Six rounds of chemo and 17 radiation treatments. I got through with very little side effects and I'm 76 years old. Plenty of support and prayers from friends and family. He also can do this with the support of those who love him.

August 24, 2019
A MyLymphomaTeam Member

I did what the Drs. told me and had R-CHOP and radiation. I’m now a couple of months in remission. Without getting treatment your husband will not get better. NHL can be treated. The beast will kill him without medical intervention.

August 24, 2019
A MyLymphomaTeam Member

I have stage 4 with no treatment so far. I am on wait and watch by my doctors advice. But if the said i need treatment I would do it. I go to the Cancer doc 2xs a year. I sleep good, eat healthy food and exercise by walking.

January 26, 2020

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